Wilder’s 7 Steps To Solid Phone Game

(Originally posted on the San Francisco Lair List)

Wilder’s Phone Game Tutorial

At some point I’m going to write an extended piece on phone game that encompasses all the stuff I use — most of which I’ve assimilated from various online sources — when I have to run phone game.

So, phone game… First thing to know is that you shouldn’t need it.

OK, re-read it if you have to, but you shouldn’t need phone game; not much anyway. When you run stellar game in person, the phone is just a means of coordinating the meet. For more on that, take our workshop and pay attention when you hear an instructor talk about ‘Day 2 closing’ vs. number & email closing.

But sometimes even the best of us need phone game. For me it’s almost always for the same reason– I met a girl during workshop and didn’t have time to run proper game up front.

This happens because I don’t really run game during workshop; I’ll demonstrate something like opening, kino or generating attraction, and then I’ll go back to work on watching and critiquing students.

When I meet a girl like this, and I don’t have time to do everything right because I’m working, I know in advance that I’ll have some work to do on the phone because I got a number, but I didn’t run stellar game and do a proper ‘day 2 close.’

So on to my phone game. This stuff is for the times I talk to a girl after the night we meet (usually I’ll call her at the end of the same night if I really like her– like I said, more of that in the workshop:)

(1) Never introduce yourself.

(2) Start every call in mid-conversation.

(1) and (2) go together. By the way, I do these on almost every phone call I make nowadays. I’ve even found myself doing this when I call guys or my parents or the lady who runs the dry cleaners. These things are so ingrained in me, and I communicate like this so regularly, that anyone in my life for any length of time (say 1+ years) knows that anyone who does the above to them has to be me.:

[ring ... ring... ring...]
Her: hello?
Me: I think I just saw my upstairs neighbor on that show “America’s
Most Wanted.”

No introduction, no ‘Hi, remember me?… we met at XYZ…’ and no context setting. I want her struggling to keep up. I want her confused.

her: what?
me: my neighbor may be a dangerous sociopath… wait, what day is it?

(3) Be confusing. don’t push this too far, you don’t want to lose a girl because she thinks you’re a weirdo, but don’t be afraid to knock her a little off balance and make her think. if you do this correctly to anyone, you push them into a new level of presence in their conversation with you.

Does this make sense, or do I sound like an armadillo?

WTF? Is that sentence confusing? So are you paying more or less attention now? Are you more or less present in reading this? Learn to use this in your phone game.

her: who is this?
me: oh my god, how many guys did you give your number to this weekend?

(4) “Oh my god, how many guys did you give your number to this weekend?” What else can I say? I use some form of this line on almost all my first calls and I stole it directly from Lance. I have
no idea why this works so well, but here’s what always comes next:

her: Wilder?
me: hold on a second… (see #3.) HBphonegirl?
her: what?
me: My friend said you weren’t going to call me, but I knew you would;
I just felt that vibe, you know? I knew you’d call.
her: you called me. (more confusion.)
me: Hello?
her: Hi.

Decision time. At this point you need to decide whether to run more
attract or go into rapport. Whichever you choose, a valid choice is
getting off the phone and getting to it later.

(5) Keep it short.

(6) Get off the phone before she does. This isn’t as important as
people make it out to be, but it’s also not difficult to achieve. Pay
attenttion. FEEL when the conversation is waning. Get off as soon as
this starts to happen. If she starts to get off before you do, do this:

her: I’ve got to go.
me: WAIT, Oh my God, did I tell you about… No wait, you should go,
next time.

(7) Control the call. Look at the above 2 lines. At first it seemed
she was going to get off the phone before you were ready. After the
second line she’s getting off the phone at the same time, but you’re
telling her to get off.

That’s what comes to mind when talking about the general concepts of
phone game. Here are some other little things I like to do during
attraction phone game:

- Call too late. Wake her up, apologize, wish her sweet dreams and
tell her goodnite. Then call the next day to apologize.
- Talk to her about another girl, but really be talking about her.
For example, let’s say you meet a girl named Amy who is tall, cute and
stubborn.

her: hello?
me: hey, you gotta help me out. I need some advice about this girl.
I just met her. She’s tall and cute, which I like, but she’s so
stubborn. You seem like a socially aware kinda girl, how do I handle
this one?

- Call 3x in a row. any time I call a girl, if she doesn’t answer
I’ll call back 2 more times immediately, from the same number without
caller ID blocking. I’m not going to respond to anyone who disagrees
with this, I’m just telling you how I do it. IMO it sends the
message: “I’m not calling to leave a voice mail, I’m calling to talk to you.”

- “What are you wearing right now?” I love to slip this in the middle
of a normal conversation. If you know what you’re doing you can
generate intrigue, if not you’ll just seem creepy.

OK, that’s all off the top of my head.

Game on-

Wilder