There is no friend zone in dating and relationships
There is no friend zone.
It's something we've created ourselves when we can't admit defeat, when we can't let go of the one that got away.
But if there's one certainty in dating and relationships, it's failure.
Not all approaches, dates and relationships go the way we planned them.
The best way to prepare is learn from each experience, take them with us, and adapt to the ongoing reality.
The time we've spent on each approach that didn't get us a number, date that didn't get us a trip back to her place or relationship that dragged on too long all taught us lessons to take with us.
None of it was wasted.
But what do we have now?
It's the moment and all it has to offer us.
It's a soothing consolation to all the platonic friendships we may be carrying with women that may be outside our purpose.
What is our purpose in holding onto those friendships?
Do we truly enjoy female companionship, or could there be some ulterior motive, something we want from her, or something we're waiting to get?
The truth is that if it hasn't gone down in the first several dates, it won't go anywhere.
Whatever sexual tension that was built has been let out, there may be rapport, but that doesn't add up to enough to tip the scales onto a dating relationship.
Yet some of us (myself included, many times in the past) hang onto these relationships in hopes of recouping or capitalizing on the time and energy we've already put into the friendship that won't turn sexual.
Besides, do we really want a woman who we have to cajole and plead in order to open herself up to a genuine, masculine experience?
I may as well find some cats to her while I want for a woman to give it up after the 20th date.
I might even get an audition for the next 40-year old Virgin.
The deeper question we need to ask with platonic relationship is, are they serving our purpose?
If we wish to grow and interact with woman in a safe setting or genuinely connect with this person, then yes.
But if there are ulterior motives, frustration and resentment (general bad emotional juju) involved, then no.
Guys love hard, clean-cut rules for dating, and I just spelled out one or two - in my book, anyway.
When we take our purpose seriously, most of us will find that we're working on relationships to get better with ourselves.
We want more experience, fulfillment and joy by connecting with women.
And that's not available in a platonic relationship - they're sexually neutral and devoid of any sexual polarity.
They often slow us down in searching for the experiences we want by draining a big resource we have: time.
But don't get me wrong, there are some great women to keep in our lives who are a blast to be around.
They love to be flirted with and flirt back no matter what the occasion.
They add to our experience, share themselves with us and enrich our view of the world.
These women will also be socially intelligent to keep the friendship devoid of emotional baggage they may be having in other areas of life.
The friendship serves its function of fun, partnering for activities and bouncing ideas off one another.
They don't need the emotional swings of a dating relationship, which is where they belong.
They also don't need the ettiquette of dating, such as buying tickets, dinners and drinks.
But I'll skip that lecture, since we do a lot of that in workshop and coaching for the new guys. 
Walter
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