I’m a mama’s boy.
Not ashamed to admit it. But I am ashamed to
admit one thing about it that I realized not
too long ago.
It seems to me that a man who is really close
to his mother, who loves her, and talks to
her, and does everything he can to make her
happy, should have some experience and
ability to really communicate with women and
know what does make them happy, right?
I mean, your mother is a woman. If she’s
anything like mine, she’s a supportive,
loving, interesting, complex woman who sees
the world on a different skew than you do,
and you should be gathering intel and
figuring out this strange race just by being
around her, right?
You’ve spent so much time with women that you
should GET them, right?
Well, I didn’t.
It doesn’t make any damn sense at first. All
that time you spend talking and just being
around her, or an aunt, or a grandma, or a
sister, or a female friend, that seems like
spying on the other side. You’re snuck in
behind enemy lines like a double-agent,
listening in on the conversations, sharing
the talks that most men never get to hear,
maybe even hearing the stuff you don’t want
to hear.
If this really were a war, like some guys
call it, a war between the sexes, hell, you’d
be the Allies breaking codes and getting all
the secrets before the enemy knew you knew
all their moves.
But it’s not a war. And women are not the
enemy.
And being close to your mom, or sister, or
friend, is just not the way to learn what
women really want.
You know why?
Those women already love you just for who you
are. They see the best side of you. They see
the man that you always wished you could be,
that you always knew you should be.
That’s why they say things like "I just don’t
understand why you don’t be yourself. You’re
such a great guy… any woman would be lucky
to have you… you should be fighting them
off with a stick!"
And those words, those well-meaning words,
they echo in your head when you are waiting
for the train on Monday morning, or standing
in line for coffee Tuesday afternoon, or
leaning against the wall of the bar Thursday
night, as that girl you’ve been waiting to
meet since you were old enough to want to
meet girls goes walking on by.
Walking on by, slowly, and you watch. You say
nothing. You know nothing to say. And she
moves on, and you never take a chance.
You never even know if you had a chance.
Why?
The women in your life that you are close to
already see the attractive parts of you
because you are confident and comfortable
enough to show them. It’s just the same as
the way you are able to be fun and confident
around friends. The pressure is off. You can
relax and be who you really are. You can be
funny, passionate about things you care
about. You can play and goof around. You can
make jokes and laugh easily.
You can be a magnet that draws other people
into your fun.
And don’t tell me that’s not you, because I
don’t give a damn how introverted or lonely
or socially unskilled you think you are.
EVERYONE has someone that they feel
comfortable around, and everyone has things
to share that make others feel good around
them.
I know, because I spent too many years of my
life talking about geeky things with geeky
friends thinking geeky thoughts, but having a
great time doing it.
It was only once I learned the skills to be
that comfortable with people I didn’t already
know, and got to understand, and listen, and
relate to things women were passionate about,
that I broke my shell and started to see how
my natural attractiveness could be trained
and honed into a razor-sharp weapon of mass
seduction.
Here’s the trick, man. You are a mama’s boy.
That’s why you are reading right now. Because
as much as mama loves you, she can’t teach
you how to be more of a confident MAN around
women.
You only learn that from one place: a man.
All the guys who were closer to Dad, well I
bet they don’t spend a whole lot of time
reading about pickup. Chances are they got
some good lessons and some great teaching
early on, and are too busy GETTING GIRLS to
read about getting girls.
They are the kind of guys who taught ME what
I teach in Fearless First Impressions:
http://pickup101.com/FFI
If you’re like me, you never had that chance.
You weren’t the kid with the great role model
sharing the secrets of the ages like some
cool tribal ritual where they take you from
the camp out in the woods and do something
really gross and painful, then turn you loose
and announcing to everyone, "this boy is now
a man."
Men need men to help them learn the skills.
It’s not an instinctive thing. There are no
naturals. All skills with women are learned
skills.
So stop feeling like a failure because you
didn’t learn them yet. It’s not you. Someone
else failed you. You were supposed to get
that training long ago.
You didn’t. But NOW is your chance to get it
all in one weekend.
Come and join us at Art of Attraction and Art
of Rapport.
You’ll walk in a boy. A mama’s boy.
But you leave a man. A man with friends to
make damn sure he keeps on keepin’ on being a
real man.
You’ve been waiting your whole life for that
chance. Take it.
Weapon of Mass Seducation, eh.
Definitely stealing that one