I’ve got a special gift for y’all today.
One of the things I love most about this job is seeing how our coaches grow every day. I don’t just mean they are well-fed, although having a big bevvy of great girlfriends around means getting a full deck of good home-cooking.
See, all our coaches started as PickUp 101 clients. Some of them came to us with a lot of experience in dating and pickup. Some had been married and divorced. Some were young kids starting out. But they all had one thing in common.
They were hell-bent on doing WHATEVER it took to get this part of their life under control. They were willing to wrestle the alligator to get real choice with women.
Well today I want to introduce you to one of the cool cats who makes up our New York City crew: Eric Disco.
He’s built up such a reputation that guys often call in and request him by name – (you might say they’ve got disco fever)
Eric is not only a successful professional and a talented musician, but he is dedicated to making sure the changes he made in his life he teaches to as many men as he can.
Eric spent long years dating and reading about dating and pickup all on his own with no one around to help him get better. Like a lot of guys I know, he struggled along. Some success. Lots of mistakes. Lots of confusion. And very little satisfaction.
Then he got serious about making this stuff work. He took his first workshop, Art of Attraction, the first time we went into New York City. He then flew down to S.F. so he could meet great girls in the daytime, at our the Art of Rapport and Daygame workshop.
And he worked it hard. He kept at it every day, and he drilled the fundamentals, and soon he was so good, I had no choice but to make him a teacher. One thing great teachers do is share with others EXACTLY what they did to master their craft, and Eric has written an article at approachanxiety.com that contains a KEY secret to getting better.
Ever wondered what makes one man great with women, and one man great at being alone?
Then you NEED to read this.
Take it away, Eric.
Before I began doing pickup, I had it in my mind that women didn’t like me. If a woman caught me looking at her, I thought I’d creeped her out.
No matter what I did — if I worked out, if I dressed well, if I changed my style — the best I could do was try hard to get women to like me. I thought that if I could talk to a girl long enough, I could possibly convince her to like me.
I’ve had a number of girlfriends. And the funny thing was, it felt like with these girls, I wouldn’t have had to do much anyway, that I somehow could have gotten those girls from the start.
And then I realized, wait, maybe I did get that girl from the start.
What changes when you start doing pickup? What changes when you begin talking to attractive girls every day?
When you are approaching women you don’t know, during the rest of the day when you look at other girls, you realize, “Hey wait, those girls don’t dislike me. They just haven’t met me yet. That snarl on that girl’s face isn’t for me. I’ve walked up to girls with snarls on their faces and that snarl usually goes away.”
I was phobic of women. And I didn’t know it. My fear was below the surface. Every time I passed a cute girl I would think to myself “That girl doesn’t like me.” I didn’t verbalize it in my head. But that’s what I felt. And it wasn’t true.
I am now getting looks sometimes from girls. Positive looks. I wasn’t getting looks like this before. What changed?
I changed my look, my posture, my gaze, my body language, everything. But the most important thing that changed was that I stopped believing that girls disliked me. And I started believing that any girl, anywhere, could like me.
I hate the term “inner game.” “All game is inner game,” they say. It annoys me when people talk about inner game. I want to punch them in the face and claw their eyes out. Because like most guys, I read this as some kind of zen crap that if you believe strongly enough that you’re great, all of a sudden it will change, that you can just be confident. But this is not the case. And everyone knows it.
What has to change is your actions. What has to change is your habits.
I hate doing mental exercises. I hate the idea of mental rehearsal. I don’t like the idea that I should sit in my apartment and try and think through things in my head until I get it right. I don’t believe it works.
What needs to happen is a process where you take action in the real world. That’s the first step to changing your behavior.
You will never have true confidence by telling yourself over and over and over that you are confident. You will never have confidence by reading a thousand books or going to a thousand workshops. The only way to get true confidence is by going out and doing it over and over. It doesn’t sound easy, does it? Maybe that’s the point.
But if you are willing to do whatever it takes to get yourself there, you can do it.
I did. And I’m still doing it.
It’s possible to get there. Not only is it possible to get there, but you will become a hundred times the man you are for doing it.
I used to have HUGE approach anxiety. To walk up to a girl I didn’t know and try to talk to her was torturous for me. There was Hell in Hello. A huge part of me was content and completely resigned to never talk to a strange woman ever again.
I didn’t know that it was possible for it not to hurt. I didn’t think it was possible to get there. I had no path.
I had some inkling in my mind that if I could talk to ten women every day, after a while it would get easier. And I even set out to try and do it.
And I always failed.
But with the loving help of some great coaches, I figured out how to do it.
I don’t have a secret formula to make it easy for you. Because it’s not easy. It’s difficult. Very difficult.
I’m not asking you to do something that’s impossible to do. I’m not asking you to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I’m asking you to step out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time. And to do it consistently. The small changes begin to add up, most of it unnoticeable to you, until eventually you will find yourself at the top of the mountain.
And all of this can happen a lot faster than you think.
If you need a coach to kick your ass, find one. Or if you have a friend who can help you, call him up. Make a plan. Do SOMETHING.
Just take that first step and keep taking those first steps. For me the first thousand steps felt like the first step. There are days when it still feels like the first step. But you can get there. It’s just a matter of your willingness to go out and do it.
This is the real voice, guys. This isn’t some bullshit theory drawn up in the lab and applied like women were rats in a maze to tempt with cheese and punish with shocks.
This isn’t some story about how we wish the world would be.
This is the experience of a man, just like you, who use to be paralyzed with fear at the idea of talking to a girl, who changed it by doing something every day to get the physical skill.
Pickup isn’t in your head. It’s not in your big brain. It’s not even in your heart.
It comes from way down below, get it? It’s in your BODY. All of it. So stop filling your brain, and get your body going.
Get it going now by doing something TODAY.
Now go meet some women.
P.S. You’ve been waiting for your chance to take the best workshop in the world in your hometown. The wait is over. Reach out and grab hold of your future today!
P.P.S. Do something now. Get your body in motion and get your ass in gear and start getting the women you deserve. Learn the secrets of Physical Confidence and you’ll never be afraid to approach again: