PickUp 101

INNER GAME: How To Deal With A Scarcity Complex

Hey Lance,

Here's an issue I've been dealing with for a while.

Just about every girl I find that would meet my standards for a Long Term Relationship is already taken.

I know the best thing to do is keep trying, but it's hard to keep a positive attitude and stay motivated when I keep running into this. What do you recommend for guys who deal with this scarcity complex?

Stephen, San Antonio TX

Stephen, I'm going to answer in 2 parts, with some commentary on inner game, and then some practical advice for you.

First, the fact that you admit you have a 'scarcity' complex is a BIG CLUE that most of what is going on here is in your head.

The reality is, there are more quality women on this planet than any one man could hope to meet in his LIFETIME.  No matter how you personally define 'quality'.

However, if you believe there is a 'scarcity' of women that meet your standards, then that's what you'll find.

Tony Robbins likes to say "All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs."

So what would it be like to BELIEVE that there are a lot of quality women, it's just that you haven't met them… yet?

My friend Wilder used to believe that EVERYONE that smiled at him wanted to meet him and get to know him better.

Was this always true?  Hell no!

But do you think he found it easier to walk up to any woman he noticed smiling at him with that belief?  Absolutely!

He was an approach machine, and he gave credit to having a strong belief that people WANTED to meet him.

Now for part 2, the practical advice.

This is something you'll hear me say in workshops, and on the Path to Mastery Advanced Coaching Series, and it's simple…

Just get some DATES!

Don't just try to find that 'perfect' woman, because…

A. she might not exist

and

B. you'll  miss out on an amazing wealth of opportunities to meet a lot of FUN women, and improve your attraction & rapport skills for when you do find THE ONE.

And one more thing, this is important… I've found as I've dated many different women, that as I get to know them, they surprise me and often I like them more and more as we get to know each other.

Remember, often women act differently when you first meet them, because society has 'programmed' them to act a certain way around men.

Listen, I like a woman who is self confident, athletic, intelligent, and has a clear set of goals and direction in her life.

Many woman won't show those qualities when you first meet them, and frankly a lot of guys would be intimidated by the women I date.

But when a woman gets to know you and you let her know you like those qualities, you may be amazed at what you find.  It's happened to me many times.

So the big lesson here is to simply just START dating.  Go meet some women and set up simple fun things to do with them.

You'll get better with women, you can have a good time, and you may be surprised that you find a woman who meets your standards AFTER you get to know her.

And remember, the more women you have in your life, the more attractive other women will find you.

Lance