NOTICE: The Tax Break sale ends tomorrow, get a move on
your favorite products before they are all gone:
http://www.PickUp101.com/z5emfb/Taxbreak
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I had a coaching call where an old, old, old question came
up.
And when I fixed the sticking point for him, it occured to
“Hey Lance,
How do you learn how to VIBE well? I have learned a lot
about inner game, outer game, routines, lines, push/pull,
etc. etc….. But no one has focused on pure vibing….just
the ability to have cool on the fly conversation skills.
Appreciate your thoughts on the topic.
F Galletta, Forest Hills, NY”
___
OK, you asked for it. Time to go to school on the subject
of…
ALWAYS knowing what to say next with Vibing.
Vibing is a way of talking to a whole group that gets the
comfortable with you and trusting you. Like when you meet a
new person, they share a little something about themselves
you can relate to, and you think , “hey, he seems like a
good guy.”
That’s your goal with Vibing. Just relate and let the group
think “he seems like a good guy.”
Done properly, this makes it very easy to get to real
rapport in one-on-one with the girl you like.
So what are the steps and keys to vibing?
1. After you have them laughing, choose one girl from group
as your girl.
2. Get side by side with girl you like the most while joking
with the group “I like this girl. Can I keep her?”
This makes the girls comfortable, because they know which
one you like, and it makes you comfortable, because now you
are in as part of a couple.
3. Now vibe with whole group. Small talk.
Here’s the structure for your small talk to keep it
interesting and keep it flowing.
* Always to make connections between you and them. “Yes
and,” not “No, but” * Ask small talk questions * Get their
response * Echo back their response, and either relate
with something you know about it, or confess you don’t
know about it, and ask what it’s like * Share your answer
to the question and relate it back to them in emotionally
relevant terms * Keep it fun and positive!!!
Here’s an example of Vibing using this structure:
Let’s take the most standard Small Talk question there is:
“Where are you from?”
They answer, “we’re from Tuscany.”
You reply with an echo back to show you listened to their
answer, and invite them to share a little more.
“Oh, you’re from Tuscany. I know nothing about Tuscany. Is
it a cool place? They have good ice cream, right?”
You don’t have to talk about ice cream. I just happen to
love ice cream, so it’s easy for me to get enthusiastic
about it.
Now here’s the key to vibing.
Do NOT expect the group to have some great stories ready to
share, especially if you are dealing with a group of girls.
They have no reason to invest anything in you yet, and even
if they did, women do not converse like men do. They don’t
practice one-upping each other’s stories, so they don’t have
lots of material just waiting to unroll.
But you can make it easier for them to relate to you if you
take their short answer and use it to reveal something about
yourself for them to connect to.
Have good answers ready to each of your questions. You
answer is just a conversational thread that you relate back
to them.
To keep the conversation moving you want to have an idea of
bullet points you can move on to so you don’t run out of
things to say.
For example, your answer to the question “where are you
from,” might be:
* I’m from Tottenham.
BUt then to keep the convesation moving, you can cover the
following ideas.
* Huge fan of Spurs football club. * They’re good, but they
never ever win. * Every year, I think this is the year.
Just when it seems to be a very “male oriented” conversation
that is all about YOU, you make it apply to the women in a
fin and interesting way.
* You know what it’s like when you keep hoping for
something, even though you know it will never happen? * (let
the girls react) * Like you’re waiting for your boyfriend
to buy you a ring? * That’s what it’s like, but its fun.
like, every year, new hope. * Every year, I wait for the
ring, and I never get it, but I love them anyways. * You
know what I mean?
When you are thinking about your conversational threads, you
want to talk naturally. DOn’t worry about the BEST way to
say things, just relax.
Always make sure you relate things back to the group when
you get to the end of your conversational thread. You want
to give them a clear invitation to join in and relate to the
emotional content you just offered.
Again, don’t look for them to top it, and make sure you
aren’t playing the game of “my story is better than yours.”
The point of vibing, remember, is not to impress, but to
relate.
So what’s keeping you? Now you know what to say next, so get
out there and get working on your rap!
Now go meet some women,
Lance Mason
P.S. Vibing is just a small part of the ALWAYS knowing what
to say equation. You can see explanations and demonstrations
of just about everything I have to say on the topic on my
Charismatic Conversations Take-Home Training Kit. You even
get to see demonstrations breaking down the ‘hidden meaning’
of what girls REALLY mean when they are talking to you.
Be sure to check it out now while my Tax Break offer still
stands (It all ends tomorrow on Friday). Just go to the Tax
Break page and click the Charismatic Conversations link at
the bottom, and never again wonder what to say to women.
http://PickUp101.com/z5emfb/TaxBreak
P.S. If you want get your vibing down tight so you always
know what to say, sign up today for the Art of Rapport
workshop. Last time I checked there will still some open at
the Tax Break price.
You can check out the program at:
http://www.pickup101.com/z5emfb/members/daygame
But be sure to purchase it on the Tax Break page if it’s
still available.
