PickUp 101

Wow.

By Cam

Sean,

Awesome, poetic description of the moments. Really related to your nervousness. One question. Compared to David D's "Cocky and Funny" approach, yours didn't seem very … "manly." Perhaps I'm missing something and you can fill me in on how your style works compared to David D's, whether there's contradictions, or not.

Thanks,

Joe

By Joe

Awesome, Sean.

And to Joe, who seems puzzled by the success of this approach, what Sean did was VERY manly. He presented himself as a decisive man who exists without pretext, without agenda, who knows what he wants and goes after it. He presented himself as someone who is courageous, who does not act without fear, but rather acts in spite of it. Any woman would read this blog and melt with envy for Gia because Sean presented one of the female fantasies (keep in mind, a woman has many–and not all of them involve the David DeAngelo archetype). And Sean still has the chance to apply any of the other techniques, that have no doubt become second nature to him by now, in order to amp up the attraction as the relationship progresses.

Well done, Sean. Well done. And your writing reminds me of Juggler's prose. All around nice job.

By Chad

What woud you have done in the event of the worst case scenario.

By abbro

Now i have to go and do it too. Nice!! I will give you the report soon…..

Nice to get the one!!!

B

By B

thats what im talkin about…. feeling the fear and USING it to YOUR advantage. Good story!!!

By KEvin

Your writing is passionate. I'm sure harnessing that passion in your game will increase your closes 3 fold! Well Done!

Bunny!

By Bunny!

Thanks for all the comments and questions, guys. I really love how the dialogue helps us all learn more about how to read women and get more fulfilling relationships out of it.

Joe makes a great point about this report, and this approach, not seeming to be very "manly" when compared to a more playful, higher energy approach.

And that's where you stepped right into my trap!
As Chad points out, this approach is in fact VERY MANLY, but only if you are able to be so totally confident and comfortable in your approach that you don't care about appearing manly.

Said more eloquently, you need to be so STRONG that you can be VULNERABLE.

In the Art of Rapport workshop, we spend hours describing and practicing the Movie Moment approach, and it only starts to make sense to guys when they see it happen in front of them, when they practice it with the girls in-house, and when we take them out to create that moment in the real world. Then they FEEL it.

The Movie Moment is about courage. I go so far as to think of it like the feeling you get at the end of Braveheart when you see Mel Gibson wheeled into town to face his torture and death. He's scared. He prays for strength. But he is such a strong man, his fear feeds his courage, and he meets his fate head held high, defiant to the very end.

That's why he's the hero. There is NO FAILURE POSSIBLE for him. The hero of any story is the man who knows well enough to be scared, but acts in spite of it with full commitment.

If you are a man sensitive enough to recognize something special about her from far away, but strong enough to stare down the fear of walking up to her in broad daylight with absolutely NOTHING to hide and nothing to disguise your intent, strong enough to admit that you don't CARE if she rejects you because you are willing to risk it to connect with her and see if she is the kind of special girl who can make you happy, she melts.

She melts, man.

My girlfriend still talks about this, 6 months later. Her friend still talks about this. When she explained to her family (who insisted she had to marry a rich doctor as soon as possible), all she had to do was tell them this story.

They got it.

It's Pirates of the Carribean. Don Quixote. It's There's Something About Mary. And it's the romance novel all girls love to read, with her as the beautiful girl just dying for someone to see her for the amazing person she really is.

And you as the hero who doesn't give a rat's ass what the world thinks of him, because he does what he wants with full confidence.

She's the beautiful heroine, and you are the hero who can take on the world, but he chooses to make himself vulnerable just to her.

And when you do that, get ready for a dare-to-be-great situation.

By Sean Messenger

Hey I want to see the field report but I can't open the link to it…
need some help…
thanks

By Jose

Where is the report?

Thanks,
George

By George

Jose, George - there was an issue with the blog software, it's been fixed so everything should work now.

By Gordon

Hi Sean,
You say that this girl is perfect but I can't imagine what you actually saw with that description you gave of her. Yawn!!! The only thing you described about that girl was her face and you didn't do a very good job. The whole experience sounds very mediocre but you say that's manly. I guess the bottom line is you got what you liked.

You compared your moves to Braveheart. Really? I saw Braveheart and that's not something I'd buy to collect. I'd rent that. I'm too harsh a critic, but those moves don't sound like they have maximum success rate to me.

Peace,
Earl.

By Earl

You guys with the negative comments seem to be missing the point.
'He got the girl!

By The Bro

hey sean

let me know what wud you have done in a worst case scenario

what wud you have done in case she just said no to you or acted bitchy

By astorre

Wow, Earl, you are a hard man to impress! I mean, I don't mind you bagging on my girl, but let's leave Braveheart out of it. Them's fighting words!
Thanks for the comments. I agree that it's hard to explain in prose what it is that attracts us. I mean, it's easy to say "dude, she had a bangin body, and the face was like bam! and the titties was like zbow! and the booty was like k ablam!" God knows I've had enough of those conversations with my friends in the past.

But now that I'm older and wiser (I hope), I find that I just have a sense for the girls that really turn me on. With her, it was almost like a Spidey sense… even before I really saw her, I just KNEW she was there. Weird. Maybe I have spent TOO much time chatting up girls.
But for everyone who needs a description that does better justice to her than my meager words, I'll put some photos up on the PickUp101 Lounge at http://pickuplounge.com.

Classy photos only. You want to see cute girls naked you got to go get them yourself.

By Sean

Astorre,

Great question, man. I have to say that as long as I've been approaching girls this way, and that's way before we started teaching it in Art of Rapport, I have NEVER had a worst-case scenario reaction.

When you approach a girl sincerely and confidently like this, and she can sense that you are not just toying with her, lying to her, or just running some game so you and your friends can laugh at her later, she cannot help but respond positively. Doesn't mean that she'll always be your girlfriend right away, but you'll always at least make her smile and be genuinely happy that you came to talk to her.

I think these worst-case scenarios are the things we create when we have the wrong intent. If you talk to a girl simply because you want to trick her into sleeping with you, she has every right to be rude to you. She knows what you're up to and doesn't like it.

But if you talk to her because you noticed something cool about her and are genuinely interested in feeling each other out to see if maybe there's the potential for a passionate affair, how can she not be at least complimented by that?

Worst case is she has to leave right away or tells you immediately "I have a boyfriend." In that case, just be cool. Tell her "that's cool. It was very nice meeting you." Then shake her hand and be on your way.

You can always be polite and leave like a gentleman. No shame at all in that, ever.

But the chances are very good that you'll get the BEST-CASE SCENARIO. Focus on that.

Maybe someday I'll post the story of how I used this approach to pull a dancer right off the stage of the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas…

By Sean

Thats really cool Sean, I'v been using some David D, mystery method and other such stuff but I sometimes it feels like I'm not being genuine. Negging her deliberately, hitting on her friends to gain her interest, not calling her back straight away to demonstrate 'higher value' There comes time when you can just say 'i like you' and smile at a girl and just be gentle with her because you know that she likes you too. I think what really attracts women is being a confident, positive cool guy that enriches the lives of those around you and you seem like one of those guys.

take care

By Cam

>I think what really attracts women is being a confident, positive cool guy that enriches the lives of those around you and you seem like one of those guys.

Damn straight. You know what everyone woman wants?

A cool guy who really digs her.

So learn how to be that guy, then find a girl you really dig and tell her. The details will take care of themselves.

By Sean

O my God….man you are one of the best writers i no. the way you wrote what happened in the store made me fell like if i was there in the store and i was one of the people watching u……YOU ROCK AND KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING

By jason

I first saw this post on Cliff's List and with all due respect to the other pick-up training out there, this is the reason I ultimately went with Lance's group; because of all this serious encouragement to go for our "potential soul-mates," if you will, and be able to do things such as "say 'I like you' and smile at a girl and just be gentle with her," as Cam here points out!

My story's similar to Sean's recent e-mail confession, but I have yet to really get over the paralyzing fears; so I'm definitely looking forward to his upcoming material on how to learn "the[se] skills even the Natural didn't know" to "be[come this kind of] a MAN!!!"

Great stuff! Thank you very much!!!

By Dennis

Wow. Thanks so much for sharing that, Dennis. One of the reasons I was able to start letting my social side out was finding out that I really wasn't alone in what I wanted and what was holding me back.

Part of the reward for me is finding that I do have brothers out there who feel the same way, and want to work for the things that make them and their world happier and better. I know you'll get a lot out of our coaching. I sense you've already got the passion and the right intent… now you just need the information and practice, and you will fulfill your destiny.

It's totally hippie-ish, I know, and I may never be allowed back in my native East Coast since I've gone so soft, but what the hell.

By Sean (www.pickup101.com)

you said: > …wasn't that a little bit odd for the girl to let her begin the conversation? (this was a strategy of yours or u really didn't know waht to say next?)…i mean u liked her went to her table told her that you want to know her better and after that say nothing…i suppose she really liked you, or she was very impressed of your action if she started the conversation looking for the rapport…i think u've got a little luck here 'cause she might not have said anything else and wait to see how u will continue what u've started…'cause there are few man who can act like you did but even less to know how to continue after they've opened the girl they like…anyway congratulation for what u've done.

By Mihai

Mihai,

Great question. I did intentionally not say anything after sitting down. I just say, made myself comfortable, looked at her warmly, and let her make the next move. I KNEW that I was done attracting her at that point. No question about it. So all I had to do next was let her get to know me.

And because her friend was there as well, I wanted her to show a little initiative in this, so there was no way her friend could jump in and pull her away. If the girl starts talking to me, then she is making it clear to everyone with her that she wants me to stay.

Girls are naturally polite. If you are just cool and normal and make them comfortable, they will talk to you. You don't need to fill in every single space in conversation. Sometimes a look says more than your words can.

I knew just what I was doing when I sat down. I was enjoying the moment, and letting her do the same.

By Sean (www.pickup101.com)

hey sean, that was a great story. you know me and you are kind of alike. Most people think that i am also a natural. But, like you, truth is im not. Most women would find me atractive. However, im steal unsatisfied. If have any info for me personally instead of some message that has been forwarded to thousands of people then that would be great. Other then that it was a great story.

Thanks dog, hope to hear from ya.

By onehitwander

Dude, don't wait. The whole reason I got into this was to help every guy have more fun dating, and get happier with the girls in his life. And that means pretty much everybody. I can count on one hand the guys I know who are truly happy with their women, and everyone else really can change their lives with our products, and more importantly, our coaching.

Don't let your pride get in the way. I really wish I had gone to Lance and signed up for a class two years ago. Would have saved me another two years of heartbreak, frustration, unhappiness, and of course all the money I lost on dates that went nowhere.

I think of it this way. I spent $2000 on the Art of Rapport workshop. I compare that to the money I spent on gifts, trips, engagement rings, wedding plans and deposits, and time wasted and pain suffered wondering what the hell was wrong… man, I wish I had invested that $2000 when I was 18, because I know for a fact it would have appreciated to have saved me ten times as much by now.

Check out the pickuplounge.com. There's a lot of guys on there with a story just like yours, and we're all there to help each other.

By Sean (www.pickup101.com)

I dont' know why all these posts sound scripted to me!

By David

I dunno either, David. I mean, yeah, my replies have obvious hard-sell marketing messages, because I don't care how annoying I have to be to get people to believe that what we do at Art of Attraction is for real.

But every question on here is from someone who read this, and had some kind of real emotional reaction. Not fake. Good or bad, doesn't matter, as long as it's not fake.

And that matters, because I suspect there have been people faking stuff about this kind of thing for way too long… and that's why I understand anyone who is skeptical. You couldn't be more skeptical than I was before I started.

So don't believe me. Ask around. Ask anyone who has been through Art of Attraction. They can tell you much better than I ever could.

By Sean (www.pickup101.com)

@sean
interesting point of view…that means…everytime you feel that you created attraction with a woman you want (and you already change 2 words where you had the initiative) you can lay back, feel comfortable, make eye contact, don't say anything if you don't feel to and wait her make some move ?…and if she doesn't make any move and she's also waiting?

What should you do if you feel that you've created attraction but after a short time you notice that the girl losses from it's interest and the initial flame is going down ?

and third…how do you know when it's enough the time you spent there and it's time to close and leave? I mean, I don't have enough courage yet to go in, in a cold approach, but i've noticed i don't have the courage to put an end at a conversation too…and that's no good 'couse sooner or later the conversation will become annoying and i can ruin everything i've done till that moment…so…any thought?
Thanx

By Mihai

Every conversation has its natural lifespan. You should know when it comes and implement a quick exit. This should be when you are nearing the end of a particular moment of interaction. That is when you either have to introduce another comment or keep quiet like happens in any casual conversation. Be on the look out and exit just in time.

By Kuree

@Sean,

Can you tell me where of how did you learn to take actions to approach a girl?
I think you had the same problem in the past like I do now.I'm quite good with girls I know, but as soon as I see a girl who I don't know there's always that mental block.
Even so with a girl who's in my head for months now. I'm seeing her very often and then we have nice discussions and so on but I can't really tell her how much I like her.Sometimes I just wanna hold her and stuff and i know from The Game-book that when "You think you can do it, you should do it" but there's always that idea that come up in my head: "what if she wants me only as a friend and nothing more".
This is so frustrating and it kills me because when I meet a girl via a dating site or so and we talk already about things then I can be totally myself.

By Onedotnine

You HAVE to flirt with her. If you've known the girl for a while, then you have a great opportunity to catch her off guard and shock her with attractive actions.

That's it. Just commit yourself to it. Death or Glory, as The Clash sang…

The next time you see this girl, I want you to tease her and tell her why you are going to make her your next girlfriend. Do all of this with a big, goofy smile on your face. Tell her she's cute and then tell her she's a dork. Challenge her to thumb-wrestling. Go play on the swings at the park.

Do something fun and sexy and make it clear to her that you can make her feel fun and sexy. She will want to be more than friends if it's fun for her.

By Sean (www.pickup101.com)

Sean,

I'm very interested in this part:

"Look at her… gently, but seeing her."

Please describe for me the type of eye contact you are giving her at this point. Isn't that an absolutely critical few seconds in the story? If you look at her the way you did, you succeed. But if you look at her slightly differently, I feel like you could break the tension at the wrong time or communicate an unhealthy level of desperation, any number of things.

Thanks,
Kepler

By Kepler

Kepler,

Good question, and you are right. If the look is wrong, it breaks the sincerity and the energy. It's a tough thing to explain (hell, it's even tough to teach in AoR).

I focused on how I felt before I looked at her, and let those emotions show. I felt curious, open, warm, sincere, honest, and a little vulnerable. But sure of it. Maybe the real key is I held her eyes completely and didn't look away. I didn't look to challenge her, but I didn't look away.

That's what I meant by really seeing her. I looked at her like an artist looks at a still life. Totally focused on seeing every detail and seeing the all.

By Sean