Field Report: This is How You Attract a Woman on the Train
orignally posted on Senior Instructor Sean Newman's blog makegirlssmile.com
Back into the PickUp 101 mailbag… man, we get some great questions from all over the world. But this one I LOVE. ===
Hey,
Your newsletters are great and what you preach is pretty much the salvation of humanity itself.
I've learnt loads from you, but i still have so many questions.
However, the one that gets me a lot, is women and travelling.
How many times do we use public transport in our lives? Quite a bit I would say. I use the bus AND train almost everyday, yet it's these kind of places that are great to meet new women. I know this for a fact. BUT wouldn't it be great if i could approach them and really create that minute attraction that will make them want to see more of me?
I see guys- loads of them- day by day get onto the train, stare at some cleavage for their half hour journey and carry on with their everyday lives. NO thats not what I want to be doing. Do you think you could help me, and all those other travelling guys out there? Thanks,
VM, London
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Meeting a woman on a train or bus is NOT quite the same as anywhere else. There's a lot of social pressure. So you just have to be extra smooth, and extra normal. You create attraction just by being able to walk up with a smile and meet her. No tricks needed. Just be super-polite and aware of the situation.
The REAL key to meeting a girl on the bus or train, is, like anywhere else, your body language. You absolutely HAVE to be at a diagonal to her when talking. Do not be face-to-face. Way too intimidating for a place like this. And keep your body and your voice softer than normal. Don't try to look too cool. You want to look… approachable.
Everyone has their bullshit detectors set to super-duper-high on the train. It's like they are just waiting to hear your plea for world hunger, save the manatees or have you heard the good news about baby jesus?
So anticipate all this and work with it.
Here's a line that has always worked for me.
"I know you're not supposed to talk to people on the train, but I saw you here and just wanted to come say Hi. I'm Sean."
Then go immediately into normal conversation with banter sprinkled in to keep the conversation flowing and spice it up a little.
Here's how I met a girl on the big bad New York City subway. We were coaching Art of Rapport, and my student said he really wished he could meet girls here, but it seemed like the toughest place. He has this nervous smile on his face, and I know he just needed to see that it was possible.
So I spotted a hottie sitting at the end of the car. Gucci sunglasses, iPod, looking straight down, every barrier except a chain link fence.
Which, of course, just made it more fun.
I walked up and leaned beside her on the wall. I waited a few seconds, and then motioned very slowly and gently for her to take her headphones off. I smiled and said,
"Hi. I saw you here, and wanted to come say Hi. I'm Sean."
"I'm L."
"Hey L. You from New York?"
"Yes, you?"
"No, I'm from California, which is why I'm still dumb and friendly enough to say hi to people on the subway. I like your smile."
And that was it. Once I got that smile out of her, it was on. We walked along at our stop and made plans to meet later that night.
Total time? 2 minutes? And the cover charge for the subway is really pretty reasonable. 
Don't know about vibing and banter? Get your ass into on of my Art of Attraction classes in New York, DC or Miami. Get your banter cards, and drill over and over and over again with us, with your friends, with supergirls, and watch us use the same goofy lines to get women lit up.
It's not hard when you know how to do it. Just flow with your role-playing and make it fun and sexy, like this.
"Where are you from? Oh really? That's a great place. I'm from Connecticut, but I live in New York. You've never been? OK, you can come over, but you have to sleep on the couch. I'm shy."
Flow with it. Make it like talking to a friend. And then when you run out of time on your trip, go get a drink, or make plans to do it later.
If all else fails, watch Before Sunset and Before Sunrise.
P.S. And if you really want to know, come join me for Art of Rapport and Daytime in London on March 9. I'll show you EXACTLY how it's done, and then you'll know for real.
