Walter reports in on a saga that started in San Francisco and continued on in New York City… and shows you learn the most by the chances you take.
Last week’s PU101 trip to NYC for Art of Attraction (AoA) and Art of Rapport (AoR) was an East meets West extravaganza where the west coast veterans (Sean Newman, Dan Mangano, Joe Brody, yours truly) met the up-and-coming NYC crew. From Hotel Gansevoort to Union Square, we kept it real in the field, in and out of workshop.
And don’t forget the girly action. This is the story of one that got away, but one where I learned more by losing her than if I had gotten her.
A Recap:
I met her over the summer in Union Square here in Frisco (not the one in NYC). Forget your typical artsy fashion types usually found downtown, she was your blonde, spunky European with the attitude and boisterous laugh to match. I pulled a textbook 1-2-3 indirect approach that we teach in AoR. I asked her where the mall was and told her I wanted to flirt with her instead. She lit up, and we locked into a short conversation – she was on her way to meet friends.
Being the good pickup instructor that I am, I dialed her phone and continued to talk to her as she walked across the square. The PU101 crew was planning to film a la hidden cam the next day at the North Beach Festival, so I made plans to meet her beforehand.
The Date:
I roll by Project San Francisco (PSF) to check in with the boys about filming – she calls shortly after. We meet a few blocks away and wander the street fair. She’s visiting from Boston and loving the west coast atmosphere – she’ll be moving to NYC soon for an investment banking job, so it’s a farwell tour before she starts the two-year junior banking analyst hazing process.
I decide to bring her by PSF before we part ways – I tell her about the company and our workshops. She’s giggling hysterically and can’t wait to see what it’s actually like. Funny she should ask because when we step in, the boys are in the middle of assembling the camera box and checking the mics.
She meets Lance, Sean N., Daniel J., Dan M., and Joe B. The film crew takes off, and I give her a quick tour of the house. Make-out ensues, and things are getting hot – but then we both need to part ways. She’s got a flight down to SoCal to catch, I’ve got to get going for filming (not to mention another date later that day).
The Reunion:
I looked her up when I arrive in NYC. She’s mentioned wanting to see the workshop and kept updated on our webpage. So I arrange to meet her at the Gansevoort during AoA workshop fieldwork. I’ve developed this habit of setting up dates into workshop – I figure how better to show her what I do than to bring her right into the middle of it.
She shows up after work, looking cuter than ever. My students are in set, so we approach the bar to snatch up drinks. We haven’t missed a beat – banter and kino escalation are in full effect. I isolate outside to the patio, and we catch up on things. In the mean time, instructors and students alike are passing by.
Soon her just-as-hot friend shows up, and I’m pulling instructors in as wingman to her friend and students into the group to keep them warm between their approaches. Dan M. steps in to talk to my girl while I go survey the scene. When I step inside, Mike B.’s got two girls locked in by the bottle-service tables. I step in as wingman for a bit and ask if he wants to take the group to another venue. It’s 1am by now, and the students are stepping it up like rockstars.
Two instructors, four girls, club-hopping late night in Soho – I love NYC. But it wasn’t meant to be – the lines were impossible at PM and Lotus around the corner from Gansevoort. Logistics were also a mess as I was sharing a room, Mike B’s place was near Chinatown, and the two groups of girls didn’t know each other.
The Farwell:
She and I continued to hang out late-night whenever she got through her 18-hour days at the office, and when I wasn’t running about the city or in 12-hour workshops. Logistics continued to play against us – we were star-crossed lovers with fate playing against us. I was sharing a room, and she lived with three guys who she’d told about the workshops.
Their reaction was that I was a player and she should watch herself around me. From that I realized:
1. They’re good guys from what she’s told me about them. They’re in finance as well and give her lots of advice on her career. But at the same time, none were actively dating not to mention approaching women, having choice with them or having fulfilling relationships.
2. She’d never live down the fact if we hooked up. She’d told them about this unique experience, and they reacted like most guys who’ve yet to experience the true possibilities of creating a lifestyle.
3. If I had a chance of moving the interaction forward beyond the late-night dates, I’d have to meet these guys or better yet, bring them to the intro-seminars. But being on vacation and working in workshop, that was an impossibility.
Eventually this dawned on both of us, and we realized that we had the right chemistry at the wrong time. We were within months in age, had similar ambitions, and the spark of "it’s on" was alive in the air whenever we were in the same room. She was a tomboy at heart, shielding her emotional side – waiting for that right guy to come along.
The Conclusion:
She was an amazing girl. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not hammering the nails in on the pedastal to put her on – I’m also releasing a companion NYC FR on all the other great times I was having.But I can say she got me excited about seeing her each time, a thing few girls have been able to do past the first several dates. She’s become the new high-water mark (credit Sean Newman).
The fact that logistics and timing were against us make our time together hotter and more valuable. The time apart hadn’t broken us because we had shared the moments in SF when she was on vacation. We had built a rapport that neither an 18-hour job, 12-hour workshops nor 3k miles could break.
